Jaguar, the cat has changed…

Looking back a few years, pre-Ian Callum, Jaguar was the marquee of old men (and women – gotta be politically correct) in tweed jackets and children called Isabelle and Lucas.

When the 2006 Jaguar XK came out, the Jaaaguaaaar world as we knew it died. OK, not quite died, it was still owned by Ford and had the dead weight S-Type, X-mondeo Type and comfort-monkey XJ. It suffered from image. It suffered in sales. Yes it was still aspirational, so is a country house, but they were boring and didn’t get boys bits going a bit funny.

The thing about great design is that upon glancing on it for the first time, the mind isn’t sure whether it likes it or not. It pushes boundaries, produces discomfort and, most importantly, makes the observer come back for more. It is for these very reasons that when Jaguar have announced their new ranges over the past few years, I haven’t warmed to them in pictures. They’ve seemed awkward, ugly and unconventional. It’s a bit like the iPhone 4, in pictures it looked a bit ugly. It lost its beautiful curves. But just like the iPhone 4, in the flesh, the new Jaguar’s are a thing of total beauty. Yes they can instill feelings of unease, but that makes them all the more brilliant.

The current 2012 line-up of cars has to contain some of the most visually arresting cars ever designed. Each of them packs some impressive tech, sensual lines and killer curves. Driving behind a Jaguar XK now is like staring at Beyoncé’s derrière. The eyes are drawn in to this perfectly rounded rear end. The new XF has forgone the lights of the first generation to provide a car that any high-flying salesman (should) give their right arm for. The new XJ is a stately beast that screams out luxury, status and flair.

There is a new cat in town however. Here is how it describes itself.

“Sometimes a road just flows, everything comes together. Driver, car and road perfectly connected. This isn’t about raw power, it’s about fluidity, because a driver knows smooth is fast.”

Let’s just get something out there. This isn’t an advert. This is torture. Torture because for the majority of people, cars like this are so out of reach, it makes them cry at night.

Ladies, gentlemen, boys and girls (and those in the middle), feast your eyes on this piece of car pornography. This isn’t a car. This is a Jaguar.